JUNE 25, 1993

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 11

ENTERTAINMENT

Claire of the Moon is only a crescent

Claire of the Moon Directed by Nicole Conn Centrum Theater

Reviewed by Jenn Archer When everyone who heard I was watching Nicole Conn's Claire of the Moon gasped with an "ugh oh," I should have known that I was in for it. Dubbed as the "lesbian love story for the 90's," this picture attempts to convince the viewer that intimacy can only be achieved through direct, clear communication-which samesex couples can reach more easily because they speak the same gendered language. What the film actually achieves is two hours of foreplay via caricatured roles, textbook theory, and a melodramatic script that gives you cavities with its sappiness.

Welcome to the Arcadia Women's Writer Retreat, where workaholic, lesbian sex therapist Noel Benedict is roomed with the I-wanna-be-Cher author of Life Can Ruin Your Hair, Claire Jabrowski. (Don't those names say enough!)

After Noel outs herself in one of the nightly rap sessions that the retreat-goers have, Claire becomes intrigued with her and admits to Noel that "We're outnumbered." Hmmm, could Claire be hinting that she's really a closet case?

Claire and Noel now begin to bond as friends out of a mutual respect for each other's bluntness, becoming physically closer as well, although Claire tries to flee from the masturbatory fantasies about Noel by running into bed with a local bar stud. As neither Claire nor Noel can stop thinking

about each other, their night of passion finally comes, and consequently ends the movie, as the two use their bodies to communicate what their shared experiences as lesbians have been yearning to say. Woo

WOO.

Now the plot itself perhaps could hold more credibility if the characters themselves weren't as unrealistic as they are. Claire is so sassy that I'm surprised she

didn't strike matchsticks on her butt. The rest of the characters seem like a younger Golden Girls: the southern belle Tara O'Hara (again, the names!), the New Age lightness of Arrow-just "Arrow" the whimpering housewife, and the footballcoach-gone author appeal of Maggie. So, we have all of our favorite female stereotypes the butch lesbian, the slut, the airhead, the housewife, and the flirt-but are we supposed to believe in them as stereotypes or as people with depth?

The camera work and script only add to the exaggerated production. Hearing Claire answer Noel's "You're up?" with "No, I'm upright," how could I not laugh! And Noel's summation that she never messes with straight women because they take too many"straight privileges," cried of a screenwriter trying to play with words. The producer, on the other hand, either loved screen specialties or possessed shaky hands because the same jagged camera effect was used on the beach scene where Claire tries to run from her pain and in the final sex scene, where her arched torso was superimposed on itself again and again. At least the soundtrack features healthy doses of Chopin

HE MOSTLY UNFABULOUS SOCIAL LIFE

FLASHBACK

JUNIOR HIGH

PHYS. ED.L

SEEMS YOU'D EXHAUSTED

ALL AVENUES

DEFERMENT...

CAN'T I JUST TAKE

BAND AGAIN P

CLEAN UP THE LUNCHROOM?

PICK COLOR SWATCHES

FOR PRINCIPAL KORNBLUTS

NEW DRAPERIES?

ETHAN YOU DID THAT LAST WEEK! YOU MUST TAKE GYM!

OFFICE

ETHAN GREEN...

THERE MUST'VE BEEN A SECRET SCHOOL board POL icy To HIRE Only BROKEN AND BIGOTED DRUNKS AS GYM INSTRUCTORS...

AND ONLY NARCISSISTIC JERKS AS ASSISTANT COACHES. I'M SORRY... BUT YOUR RESUME MENTIONS RUNNING a BASKETBALL CAMP FOR INNER

DISTRICT 7

PERSONNEL

COM

TEE

CITY YOUTH

WELL,YES...

WE'RE LOOKING FOR Prejudiced INSTRUCTORS..

OH, SEE... BESIDES, You APPEAR SOBER BUT..I..I DO SMOKE A LITTLE POT ON WEEKENDS

NEXT!

and some moving original piano work.

I do have to commend the film on its attempts to incorporate communication theory into a nonscholastic film. The gender of language, and the barrier it creates between the sexes, is a debated topic in academic circles. Non-verbal communication was also explored and discussed in the women's rap session. In fact, Conn blatantly inserts linguistic theories through Noel; her research is obvious. I also appreciated the way that Conn pointed out the judgment and conflict within the lesbian and gay community by having Noel state that "even lesbians don't allow much room for diversity.” Yet despite these in-

sights on how we re-

Clear communication: Claire (Trisha Todd) and Noel (Karen Trumbo) share a moment.

late to each other, how the film portrays women actually relating weakens the interesting theories.

For melodramatic romantics and linguistic theorists, this work could prove to

THERE EXISTED AN IRREFUTABLE PRESUMPTION THAT YOU KNEW HOW TO DRIBBLE..

CAN YOU TEACH ME?

TEACH YOU?

WHADARYA SOME KINDA COMMUNISTIC PINKO FAGIT?...

O SAY, ASSISTANT COACH DRYLOOK, CHeck

OUT TH LITTLE GIRL..

be interesting. For those sick of stereotypes and lack of sex scenes, Claire of the Moon may make you feel like you're being mooned.

1993 by Eric Orner. Your UNIFORM'S FABRIC+FITRONICALLY, YEARS LATER, WERE REALLY JUST REPUGNANT. SOMEWHERE ON THIS EARTH YOUR OLD TORMENTORS CAN'T GET UP A FLIGHT OF STAIRS WITHOUT Wheezing, WHILE You SPEND 5 NIGHTS A WEEK DEVELOPING YOUR "TRAPS",

GIRLFRIEND WE'RE TALKIN RAYON.. AND LIKE TEN SIZES Too B16 SAY, THESE CANAPES ARE FABUL

ASININE PREMONITION OF YOUR FUTURE SELF MAKING LIGHT OF THIS DEGRADATION AT SOME DISTANT GARDEN PARTY...

WISE CRACKS SPARED YOU FROM THE WORST FATE OFFERED BY PICKING TEAMS.. OTHERS WEREN'T SO LUCKY....

LEMME SEE, TWO RETARDS

HMMM

LEFT...

I'LL TAKE GREEN...

AT LEAST HE'S A

FUNNY

RETARD AINTCHA GREEN,

HEY DO THAT HORSHAK" IMPRESSION...

UP up

NEEDLESS To SAY, STAIRS AREN'T HIS

PURE)

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